Week 2 Nursing School -- Where the Wild Things Are

After a relatively easy first week of lectures and films studying the various laws, governing bodies, professional standards, health & safety requirements for the nursing field, we begin week 2. I will admit, the amount of outside-class work -- they weren't kidding, it is staggering. It is also a logistical problem if you'd like to decamp the dorm room and go hole up anywhere else to get some work done. This is because the textbooks require a dolly. Entire forests were mown down in order to provide them. And since I dropped a cool grand on these babies, I'm damned sure gonna read them.

Now that I'm comfortably nested in said dorm room, I find I'm not the only one. Those following me on FaceBook this week know I have encountered several bigger-than-a-breadbox cockroaches in my room. Nothing like a major freak out in the hallway to bring us nursing students together. The friendly and responsive Environmental Services guy from the hospital informs me that my pets are American Cockroaches. (Nice that they're domestic. The other ones are...German. Nuff said.) Anyhoo, we grow things bigger in the USA...my insect tormentors are upwards of 2 inches long, and not smart enough to get out of the way of a 4-inch stiletto.

Needless to say...despite my new memory foam mattress, I'm still not sleeping.

And speaking of wild things, we've got the 2-legged variety here in the dorms as well. I have dubbed them the Gaggles of Giggling Girls collective. They jump around being silly due to various stimuli: the onset of Jersey Shore on tv, a sighting of a cute medical resident, and various other indiscernible reasons. I see myself as an obvious outsider, however I am welcomed into the fold as a visitor -- a la Gorillas in the Mist. I'm resisting any true bonding thus far, since I'm not sure my self-esteem can handle being dubbed Dorm Mom. Still, my favorite moment with the kids so far was when I disclosed to one of my classmates in the hall that I had a date that night, while a gaggle was walking by and overheard. Much squealing and hopping around ensued, followed by pleas that I let them help me "get ready." It was quite endearing actually.

It seems my design skills won't need to be entirely forgotten. We are tasked with building a Professional Portfolio in a binder over the next two years, compiling our experiences and credentials that will, one hopes, help us find that crucial first nursing job. Looking at the professor's example had me cringing inwardly. While I'm sure her credentials are lengthy and impressive -- the book itself looks like it could be at home in any high school locker. And since my former job had me overseeing multi-million dollar proposal packages, I say pish tush to this softball assignment.

What I'm really scared of is giving an enema to an incontinent and combative alzheimer's patient.

The book I can handle.