I think I'll blog...
Oh wait! I already HAVE! My poor, under-nourished blog. It may be some time before it forgives me for this lapse in attention. My 14 followers (except for mom) have likely forgotten me.
I should probably start with a recap of the end of First Term. Near the end we started having big exams every Friday, and busy clinicals. I'll blame those two things for my disappearing act. I have to say...however, that those final weeks were exciting!
Clinicals. I love being on the floor. Love it. It beats staying awake and alert for 6-hour lectures any day. Even with only one patient assigned to care for, you're really moving. After over ten years of being at a desk or a conference table, I like being on my feet and being active. Then there's the little thrill of adrenalin from...well, fear. Even seemingly innocent requests from a patient can lure a student nurse into potentially perilous territory. "Could you help me to the bathroom?" "Could you get me some water?" Hahahahaha! NO!
Not until I check your chart. Maybe your doctor ordered you not to get out of bed. (OOB) Maybe you're having surgery in a couple of hours and some anesthesiologist, surgeon, head nurse or instructor (in no particular order) will come kick me in the teeth if I give you that water.
I tell you, a little fear sure let's you know you're alive.
Facing fears is something I really thrive on. For instance, on my second day of clinicals (ever) I had 3 things happen to me which I was fearing. Fear of: private parts, being thrown up on, and being in an emergency situation and not knowing what to do. My sweet little old lady patient allowed me to experience all of those things in one encounter and I learned so much. Turns out, I (like many) build up fears to be bigger than they really are (in this case, private parts and vomit.) Those turned out to be not such a big deal. They just happened, I dealt with it, and moved on. From the emergency situation, I think I identified what the root fear was -- namely, would I be able to hold it together and be useful?
I did, and I was.
I was also shaking from adrenalin, had a trickle of sweat down my polyester uniform back, and couldn't sleep all night -- but still. I didn't lose it. That was a great test.
The ultimate lesson from my first quarter of nursing school was: I got to answer the question "do I belong in nursing school?" And the answer, thank God, turned out to be yes. This seems like a simple thing, but after all of the soul searching I did prior to leaving my career as a designer, all of the financial hardship I am enduring, the distance from loved ones -- all hinged on the theoretical answer to that question. But it couldn't be fully answered until I actually got on the floor and got to work. It was very much a leap-of-faith situation and I am so very happy to now have the reassurance. I feel cut out to do this job and be able to offer something. My grades and feedback from my clinical instructor in the end reflected this.
Phew!
Then we had a week off for break in which I flew home.
It is so strange to return to my home TOWN, but not be able to return to my HOME. The cabin is rented for this 2 year adventure, so I stayed with family and friends, however my son and I both miss the beach so much.
Where at home I listened to the waves, and the seagulls, the occasional bark of a sea lion, and the fish jumping -- now I hear new things. Waves become the hissing and knocking of my radiator or the hum of the A/C. The cries of seagulls are the chatterings of young girls in the hall. Add to that the city noises of life flights overhead, sirens in the street, and the Pittsburgh drivers impatiently honking, and you'll see why I really AM a fish out of water!
Nevermind the language barrier! Every day I learn a new word of Pittsburghese. The students love to laugh at me when I ask them what some slang term means. This week I learned "Nebby" -- which means, nosy. As in...nurses need to be nebby when taking patient histories. Uh...what?! How do you spell that? I also learned "redding up" -- as in, to tidy up. The pronunciation can also throw me. Many in the Burgh pronounce their "ow" sounds like "ahn." So one wouldn't say downtown. It would be "dahn-tahn." Get it? You get used to it.
I tried to think of any relatable jargon from Seattle...but for the life of me I can't? How boring can we be?
By the time last term ended, I had a pretty predictable routine going here, which helped me settle in. Sundays are spent at the diner, where I sit at the counter and very often will visit with the regulars. I have a long chat over breakfast before settling in to study. Sunday nights I like to visit my friend, her son, and her clawfoot tub. Getting to be alone in a bathroom is a privilege for a dorm-dweller like me. Getting to read something that isn't a text book, in a hot bath, is a little slice of heaven. Either Monday or Wednesday evenings I like to hit a local restaurant for a glass of 1/2 priced wine, and study. Friday nights I have regressed into college behavior and will hit the local pub with the students. I insist on a particular pub, however, since the clientele is a mix of ages, so I'm not surrounded by post-pubescents!
On test weeks I am usually somewhere preparing cheat sheets. I am very proud of the one I did for the cranial nerves which I cartooned and passed out to the entire class. Studying those is HARD! I have begun posting copies on my door to help others study. I'd like to see this entire class at graduation. The odds are against it, but we are pretty proud to say that not one student washed out in 101. This doesn't always happen, so the entire cohort was pretty stoked. (I don't think I can take credit for that from my cartoons alone...but I like to help!) ;P
I am now back from the week of vacation and it is the end of Week 1 of our second term. A friend asked me how I was doing with the "shock of re-entry" and I had to smile at her insight. For all of the routines I established in order to feel at home here, and all of the bonding that has taken place with my young classmates, I must admit to a little setback on the homesickness front. It was hard to say goodbye to my son again. My family. My friends. I'm in a blue funk this week. However, I know how quickly the first term raced by and the two week Christmas break is only six weeks away.
This too shall pass!
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