I've been so busy, I neglected to blog the whole last term! And now I've been home for three days. Time to catch up.
It would be too much to try to cover all of my impressions and experiences I had during this term in one blog post. I'll make it a summer project to reflect on all of that. Tonight I'll focus on current events.
Friday, on 48 hours with little to no sleep I wrote my final. My study group and I had to literally pull each other across the finish line because individually we had all hit our respective walls. Among us we had chain-smoking, endless fits of crying, incoherent babbling and fits of rage. Pure adrenalin pulled me through and then I clenched for the "rest of the story" -- because as much as we all wanted to celebrate in our usual fashion (corner bar at 11:00 am over beers), we knew we'd be saying goodbye to students who found out they failed out of the program. So far I know of 7 good people who won't be with us in the fall. It makes me profoundly sad to see some of them go. So the last day of any term is bittersweet.
On top of that we said goodbye to our graduating seniors that night. So after a couple of beers, I went back to the dorm for two hours of precious sleep, before rousing to attend the graduation ceremony. So...more tears, albeit happy ones. Still-- I'll be missing some of the good friends I made this year. The seniors did provide some great insights and encouragement in terms of getting through this first year. I can't wait to hear how they all do writing their boards this summer and landing their first jobs. They must know They Are Being Watched!
During finals week, students were succumbing to illness all around me, and I smugly boarded the plane home thinking I had avoided it for once. Don't know what I was thinking. I got sick my first day back and I may be getting sicker by the day. Bronchitis, rhinitis, laryngitis and otitis. You know another -itis? -- I probably have that too! This may be the universe's idea of a joke, because I was going to be without health insurance for only about a week and a half before I start back at work next Tuesday. So, of course, I'll probably get pneumonia the way this is going.
I feel out of sorts being back home.
At school, we literally have bars around us when we go out on the porches (to keep us from jumping off??) Of course, it feels like prison. Many jokes are made about this, and...like prisoners, we fondly start off many conversations during middle of the night with, "When I get outta here, I'm gonna...." (Fill in the blank.)
So now I'm out. I'm free!! At least for about 6 weeks. Maybe its the time zone change, maybe its illness, or...more likely, its Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -- but being on the outside feels very strange. Like I've forgotten something. Or I should be doing something. I just don't know quite what to do with myself. Reconnecting with friends and family is lovely, and I'd be enjoying that more if I wasn't coughing up a lung and without a voice. But, there's this nagging feeling, it's almost surreal. I walked down the steps to my home, for the first time since I left for nursing school last summer, and I thought..."Did I just wake up from a bad dream?" It all felt quasi-normal: heading back down to the cabin on the beach, walking the same steps, trailing behind my son who was carrying all the heavy stuff as usual. But this is only a brief interlude at the mid-point of this journey called nursing school. The friends and family here can't really know what it's like doing this...and my "fellow prisoners" are all enjoying their brief parole back east.
I think it's time for self-care just now. I better bite the bullet and go in for a throat culture before this pestilence in my throat turns into full-blown pneumonia -- which will waste too much of my precious time. In a few more days, and with the help of some really good drugs, I'll finally ease into my summer and enjoy it!
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