The Calm Before the Storm

I have settled in to the pace of my new world of school now and am finding the transition between my former career and this life as a pre-nursing student challenging on some fronts, and refreshing at the same time.

The main challenge so far has just been the major gear shift I have had to make from an entirely creatively-focused industry to maths and sciences. For 15 years my world has been about design, which is entirely subjective. And as an Art Director, I directed that flow and spoke in terms like "the color needs to be a little warmer," or "I'd like to see a bit more contrast" or "how do these elements reinforce the client's brand message?" Good creatives excel at taking the subjective and applying some kind of rationale behind the design decisions they make in order to sell the work to a client.

None of that is going to fly where I'm going.

Now everything is either right or wrong. It's all linear (at least so far) -- and getting the decimal in the wrong place means you calculated the wrong dose, which could have dire consequences for your patient. The things I do now can be repeated, verified, tested. My creative friends who are reading this now are likely getting a little itchy. Designers don't like borders and strict definitions. They like to color between the lines. The thing is, I have always been a hybrid -- the daughter of an engineer and an artist, I'm pretty balanced between the linear thinking and creative/imaginative worlds. I can play in both paddling pools quite happily. So, the logic of what I'm studying now is new, exciting, and for once -- there is only one answer...the right answer.

That's kind of comforting for someone who has been having to defend the reason why something is more greenish-blue and less purple.

However, my brain is a little slow to make the switch. I have been joking with friends that for 15 years I have been feeding and watering the creative side of my brain, and letting the linear side atrophy and wither. Now I have turned on the fire-hose of information from my math and science classes, just pumping that under-fed side of my brain full of data points. And it has looked at me, raised it's eyebrows and said, "Screw you! You starved me for 15 long years and now you just expect me to carry you to the finish line?!" So now I'm busy giving the linear side of my brain a pep-talk. And we have decided to use this quarter as our warm-up.

Easy does it, linear me -- it's gonna be a marathon, not a sprint.

Week Two at School -- Whatever Was I Thinking?

Short post tonight, much to do.

Scheduling all of my pre-req's into 3 quarters by taking four classes instead of three each quarter just seemed like good sense when I was planning all of this out. When I chat with the other pre-nursing students I'm meeting in these classes and we discuss our class-load, they look at me with that, "are you nuts?" thing when I tell them what I'm taking. I suppose taking this many credits would have been fine if I had been starting from square one, but there are no more basket-weaving "buffer classes" to take. (I already took all those!) So, I'm in all pre-nursing classes -- back to back sciences and math. And I'm really feeling that 20ish year gap since I took calculus.

Just 2 weeks into my first quarter, with the avalanche of homework and memorization ahead of me, I'm thinking being tied to the train tracks might be more appealing.

Train's a-comin' folks.

I Fondled The Scrubs Today

Day 2 of my first week back in school and I have sweaty palms for many reasons. At the top of the list is just getting the classes I need. I may have mentioned this before, but my community college had only 3000 students a couple of years ago, now they have 9000. (I blame the economy. The unemployed are flocking back to school.) Getting classes is tough enough, but for the high demand programs like Nursing, it's a real slug-fest.

I just need ONE more class -- Biology 160 in order to have what I need this quarter. Because the Nursing pre-reqs are sequential, not having this single class bars me from getting into the Anatomy courses for the next two quarters. Unacceptable, since I am living on savings and know I'll be outta dough if I need to tack on an extra quarter this fall. My plan is to bang out all the pre-reqs in 3 quarters, making me finished and ready to enter a the Nursing college this fall (if God only provides me the spot!) I only need one kid to drop the class in order to slide into this class tomorrow. Plan B is to find any open seat at any college within driving distance...but I hope it doesn't come to that. I have commenced "bargaining-type" prayers today.

Next on my list of worries is clearing out the cobwebs of my neural-learning centers and remembering that I once learned how to write a number in scientific notation! I can see already that most days will find me planted at the math tutoring center drilling this stuff into my head. Hate math. Is why I went to art school!  ;)

So anyway -- there I was in the student bookstore to buy my lab notebook (sewn binding required...why?) And I looked up to see the SCRUBS! I have been biting my nails, trudging back and forth between buildings in the freezing cold, with all of the aforementioned immediate concerns on my mind, and then I saw the scrubs. Oh yes...the reason why I'm here. I got a little giddy like the time I was at the Wynn Hotel in Vegas, in line at the coffee shop, and I found myself standing next to Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran! (I was a rabid fan as a teeny bopper. Even dressed up as him for the middle school Halloween Dance! He wore a lot of makeup like any good New Waver would.)

In any case...like a silly girl -- I had been wondering what color scrubs the students at my school would be wearing. (Just like when somebody tells me they just bought a new car, I ask them about the color before I care about the make!) They wear navy scrubs. I highly approve! Slimming dark color, not easily stained with the inevitable fluids that will, no doubt, be splashed upon them.

My sister, who is already a nurse, is looking forward to my many "firsts" during the whole Nursing school season of my life. First bed bath. First injection. And now I see that the first day I don the scrubs will mark a victory over: getting through the pre-reqs, applying and becoming accepted into the program, and countless others.

Seasoned nurses likely grow tired of wearing scrubs, in the same way I grew tired of the business executive ensembles I had to pull together every day of my working life. The grass is greener syndrome, no doubt. As a business woman, rising each morning to spend time time extracting a nearly infinite number of outfits from my over-stuffed closet -- I always envied the Star Trek guys with their agreed upon uniforms. For the guys, with their Dockers (groan) and button-downs, it's not so bad. But for us gals, well -- I for one, will be glad to be rid of that pesky decision each day. For now.

Speaking of the transition from the working world to school...I had some kind of PTSD thing going on over the holidays. Since my former life was scheduled in 15 minute segments, and in every 15 minute block I could expect 50 or more emails to arrive in my bloated in-box, I had developed an iPhone checking habit that bordered on OCD-Rainman-Like behavior. The first couple of weeks sans job, during the holidays, I robotically checked my now-empty calendar and inbox just to stare blankly at it when no new calendar invites were sent, no new emails arrived, and no calendar alerts blinked at me. Then I'd chuckle nervously--assuming something must be wrong with the server, only to repeat said behavior 5 minutes later. I am happy to report that by the end of the holiday, I had weaned myself off the iPhone (unless it was to play Cut the Rope.)

So...baby steps, right?

Nursing Topics: What I'm Reading, Watching and Listening To

Sometimes I marvel at this modern age. Just think of all of the resources we have available to us to learn more about any topic we can possibly think of. Because I am going into nursing, I am naturally drawn to all forms of media that will steep me in all things medical...until such time as I can participate myself.

This is just a short list of resources I'm using to further my knowledge and interest in the field:

READING:

• A Nurses Story, by Tilda Sharif
• Critical Care: A New Nurse Faces Death, Life and Everything in Between, by Theresa Brown
• Tending Lives: Nurses on the Medical Front, by Echo Heron
• Notes on Nursing, by Florence Nightingale
• Journal of a Civil War Nurse, by Georgiann Baldino
• Nurse: The True Story of Mary Benjamin, by Peggy Anderson

WATCHING:

• London Hospital, BBC Series 1 & 2
• Nurse Jackie, Showtime
• House

LISTENING:

• The Nursing Show Podcast
• Insights in Nursing Podcast
• Almost a Nurse Podcast
• Travel Nurse Talk Podcast
• Travel Nursing Insider Podcast
• Becoming a Nurse Podcast

SURFING:

• http://allnurses.com/
• http://iamanursingstudent.blogspot.com/
• http://nurseteeny.wordpress.com/
• ...and many more!

At times I need to dial down the media inputs in order to get things done! Truly no point in soaking up all these great resources if I still haven't taken the necessary steps toward getting into a program, but honestly, I need a balance and these research efforts keep me motivated.

Such a TEAS

I'm in the thick of determining which schools to apply to -- since it appears most of the application deadlines are coming up in the next several months. One of the programs that interests me is a combination Diploma / ADN from West Pennsylvania Hospital. I have learned that hospital-based diploma programs were the primary means of training up nurses until colleges took over that role. Students enrolled right at the hospital, who ran their own training programs and issued a diploma at the end. Most of these programs have disappeared, but there are still some remaining, mostly on the east coast.

What appeals to me about West Penn is that they offer this traditional training, which seems to be more clinical focused, and in conjunction with their local community college, students can still receive their Associates Degree along with the Diploma. I like that they have dorms available on site, and that it is a Magnet hospital. I'll be applying to a few diploma programs, as well as my local area schools.

My real challenge is finding that sweet spot between programs that I'd like, that I would qualify to apply for, and that will allow me to get going on my training as fast as possible in order to avoid the dreaded couple-year waits that many wannabe nursing students have been facing. I have been preparing my friends and family that it might be necessary for me to move away in order to do this...since any delays become fiscally nightmarish!

In order to apply to many schools I need to write the TEAS exam. Groan. Having been out of academia for so long...my general knowledge is at this point unknown! What exactly DO I know? Practice tests...here I come!

It's FREE people!

Decided to become a nurse. Check.

Signed up for school. Check.

Applied to volunteer at the hospital...Check.

The time between leaving my job and going to school next month is ideal for volunteering. And with all of the volunteer openings, and budget cuts in health care...one would think that the hospital would be falling over itself to get help that is, in fact, FREE.

Just point me in the right direction, folks! I'll tuck in patients. I'll re-stock the shelves. I'll rock the babies. Sign me up!

So, why is it taking weeks just to get this volunteer gig set up at Big Named Regional Hospital? Don't they want and need my help? (Their website says they do!)

In my former life as a business person, this kind of unresponsiveness was the kiss of death. Which brings up a point that was driven home to me yesterday. A dear friend of mine, and business leader, is dealing with the health care system for a recent condition (fairly serious) which he has developed. He has been dealing with frustration due to unreturned phone inquiries, staff that don't remember who he is, delays in getting appointments and just running down rabbit holes trying to learn about how to take care of himself with this new condition. Very little is happening on the patient education side. I told him what I had learned...you really need to step up to be your own patient advocate, since they aren't going to come to you.

Knowing my former firm, which is known far and wide for hospitality and personal service, he finally exclaimed -- where is THAT kind of service in health care?! I nodded and commiserated with him, since I too have run up against this labyrinth we call health care when I have been a patient.

So now my mission is a little bit clearer. Call me an optimist, but I intend to apply what I have learned about good business, and apply it to my new role as a (future) nurse. I'm reading a lot of biographies about nursing and it's frustrations, and I'm ready to get in the game and do my bit to make things better.

Until they beat it out of me...

:D

Quite a Feeling

Waiting to hear if the biopsy was cancerous was rough. The Monday following my giving a sample, the nurse from the derm's office called a couple of days early and I had two emotions immediately charge my system simultaneously -- thrill that they were calling early and my wait was over, and also utter dread. 

She started out by saying, "I've got some bad news..." -- and my heart skipped several beats before she finished and said, "...we have lost your biopsy sample somehow and we need you to come back to repeat the test."

Can you even believe it? 

Because they were so embarrassed about losing the sample, they got me in the same day and promised to expedite the results. I opted to bring a friend to hold my hand, as I wasn't relishing having a shot in the same spot as where they had sliced me the first time. Glad I did that, 'cause it hurt!

I'll skip to the end. The results were negative and I'm fine. It was hard to be going through an emotional last week at my job and also dealing with this, but I'm thrilled to have it behind me.